Try, Try Again!

The last time I tried to share via the blogosphere, I was in a rapid health decline that culminated in my sudden--and literally unconscious--landing in the intensive care unit of my local health care facility. Since the slow but sure process of my recovery began, I have found that I have more and more opportunity to reflect on the meaning and focus (or lack thereof) of my existence. 

So let's try again to share what little I have.

Long hours of reflection can be a real drag, especially for someone with a depressive personality. Circular thinking becomes an art form. Lack of focus becomes the norm. Memory wields its two-edged sword: long-term memories increasingly cut into the present consciousness, and short-term memories dull and fade at an alarming rate. Sometimes it's hard to know which thoughts I've verbalized and which I haven't. Dreams become more real, and reality becomes more dreamlike. Each day becomes more like any other. Aarrgghh!

So right now I'm looking for a little purpose and direction in my day-to-day life. I'm still trying to wrap my head around my physical limitations, most of which are very real. At the same time I'm wrestling with psychological demons (real or imagined) that keep me second-guessing myself and limiting my full recovery. 


But enough about limitations and emotional stagnation. It's time to get on with it!